Reinventing the Wheel

In a certain sense, I've already failed. My goal for this week was to blog every day and I failed on day two. I have an excuse, of course, which was that I had an office social obligation after work, had a couple of beers, and got home later than usual. I was also exhausted, thanks to the car pushing the night before. But honestly, I think I was also mentally exhausted from all the thinking I've been doing thanks to reading The Happiness Project.

I'm not quite finished, but I honestly think that it's already changed me a bit. All my spare moments have been devoted to thinking up what my personal commandments might be. All I've got so far is "Love thy neighbour, or find explanations in charity", but given the amount I rage about both my actual neighbours and just other people out in the world, it's an excellent first step.

Where I keep getting stuck is Gretchen Rubin's first commandment, "Be Gretchen". She uses it as a reminder that at the end of the day, she can't completely subvert her personality (I think). So I keep coming up with possible commandments (Don't take it so personally), but then I wonder if that's just who I am, a person who takes relationships of all kinds very seriously. Needless to say, I have another 11 commandments to obsess over in the coming days.

Anyways, it's Friday night, I've got a weekend of potential creativity and reinvention ahead of me, as long as I can manage not to sleep it away. I'd like to come up with a few more commandments and also work on some resolutions and secrets of adulthood. Wish me luck...

Resolved-ish

It's probably not escaped anyone's notice that it is now February. You would think that the ideal time for picking up Project Bananas again after an extended hiatus would be January, but you would be wrong. That would be too predictable. I had it all planned out in my head...

I'm lying, of course. January passed by in a blur of social engagements, trying to go to the gym, work, Super Mario Galaxy, and some vague promises to myself to eat better. But the more I think of it, February is actually a MUCH better time to start such a project up again. It helps that my months old hold at the library for a book called THE HAPPINESS PROJECT by Gretchen Rubin finally arrived.

I picked up the book last week, but once I started reading it last night I could barely put it down. By the end of this morning's bus trip to work I was halfway through and by noon I'd already signed up for an account at The Happiness Project Toolbox. I realized that between The Happiness Project and Project Bananas, I think I can really truly get my ass in gear and get some goals accomplished.

Here's how it's going to go down: I'm going to (try to) post a new Project Bananas project every week. I'm also going to post regular updates on how my progress on my Happiness Project projects are going. In the short term, that's going to involve ironing out my Personal Commandments and Secrets of Adulthood. Once I've got those figured out, I can move on to working out some more concrete resolutions to go with my Bananas Projects. I think the difference is that while the resolutions will be speak to changing behaviour and mindset in the grander scheme, the Bananas Projects will focus on short term goals and achievements. So, being a more patient girlfriend vs. practicing my violin every day.

It's barely been 24 hours since I started THE HAPPINESS PROJECT (the book), but already I'm seeing a difference in my attitude. I shoveled the walk this morning while I was waiting for the bus, as a nice surprise to D and the next door neighbours (we seem to have a nice back and forth with them in terms of shoveling). I was logical and realistic about a disappointment at work and didn't let it derail my day. I went to the gym even though I didn't want to (and felt better for it, damn it). I was more patient during a conversation with D where I might have lost my temper. And I was resolved to have a good attitude about an email that I received regarding a work event.

Anyways, between THE HAPPINESS PROJECT and Project Bananas, I'm feeling totally and completely inspired.

So, to start (again) at the very beginning (again), this week's Project Bananas is Be a Famous Blogger (again). That'll mean blogging every day for the next week. As yet, I forsee no impediments to prevent me from succeeding at this goal. I'll also be working on getting my Happiness Project elements going.

It's good to be back, if only I can keep it up.

Project Bananas: Week One, Day Seven: Become Famous Blogger

I could choose to look at my lack of blogging yesterday as a failure of Project Bananas: Become Famous Blogger. But I choose to look at it as a reflection of the challenges I'm going to face as Project Bananas continues. I simply had NO time. I was at my desk by 8am, I didn't leave until 5:30pm when I walked to the hotel where I was getting the shuttle to the airport. Yes, there was wi-fi on the bus (which was awesome for some iTouch), but I really kind of wanted to listen to music and watch the scenery go by. I got to the airport and of course they make you pay for wifi. So I checked in, went through security and wandered around a bit before reading my (amazing) book at the gate. I arrived in DC late and by the time I got to my sister's place, the baby was up and we were trying to get him back to sleep.

Which is all to say, there was not really time. But I think that's ok. I've blogged six days out of seven, and that's an amazing accomplishment. I have a habit of qutting something entirely as soon as I fail at something slightly (ie, every diet or workout plan I've ever tried in my life). I don't think that's conducive to long term accomplishments and the whole point of Project Bananas to be more (and FEEL more) accomplished.

I have the rare opportunity to wander around DC (one of my favorite cities) and maybe even go write a little on the project I started. I'll also do some thinking about what the next Project Bananas will be. Week two starts tomorrow!

Project Bananas: Week One, Day Six: Become Famous Blogger

No time to blog. Frantically packing. This counts as a post by the rules, although it may not be in the spirit. More tomorrow.

Project Bananas: Week One, Day Four: Become Famous Blogger

I'm not kidding, I think this might be a record. It's day four and I'm still at it!

I'm pretty proud of my self actually, which is good because my violin lesson was a bit of an ego-batterer. I practice, not quite as much as I should, but I do practice. So it completely baffles me that I still sound so terrible. I played violin for 10 years as a kid/teenager. I was no virtuoso, but I was a more than proficient player. Now I'm struggling to bow straight and stay in tune. Forget shifting and vibratto.

I think it's pretty clear what the next Project Bananas is going to be. I'm hoping that Project Bananas: Become Famous Blogger will have given me some stick-to-it-iveness to be able to improve my violin playing because the screeching I've got going on is really not doing it for me.

More than anything, I want to be able to walk away from all of this with the knowledge that I can start something, finish it, and be kind of awesome in the process. I want to know that I've really suceeded at something and feel proud of myself.

Project Bananas: Week One, Day Two: Become Famous Blogger

Well, it's day two of a new project and the "just started a new project" euphoria continues. It's at this moment that I'm always the most optimistic. I've made it to day two, I'm still feeling enthusiastic, and the possibilities seem endless. Of course, the past would dictate that the thin end of the wedge is inserted tomorrow and the whole thing rapidly falls apart. But that's not going to happen this time.



I was lying in bed last night, feeling pretty excited about this whole project. I was raised to believe that I could do anything I wanted. Really and truly. My parents genuinely believed (and still believe) that I am capable of anything as long as I try hard enough. This has always been the problem though. I am a chronic underachiever in my personal life (let's take work right out of the equation here, I love my job, I work hard, and I'm good at it). I have never put 100% effort into a personal project. And it shows. I'm pretty good at lots of things, but amazing at nothing.



I was a smidgen overscheduled as a teenager. I went to a competitive high school, played hockey/ringette/field hockey, took violin/piano/singing lessons, debated, participated in school plays and rock shows, participated in church services, volunteered, and babysat. I had a extremely full life, but I couldn't really put all my attention or effort into any one thing because I had so much else going on. I think maybe my mother regrets that, but I certainly don't. I got to do everything that I wanted to do and never felt like I missed out.



But now, I wonder if that maybe didn't set me up to succeed as an adult. I have trouble sticking to ANYTHING from diets, to cleaning rotas, to flossing every night. I really want to break the cycle though, so that's why Project Bananas is so important to me. I don't have anything to prove to anyone else, but I do want to prove to myself that I can do this. Fingers crossed.

Project Bananas: Week One: Become Famous Blogger

I've been reading blogs for about 8 years now, ever since I read a website that someone left open on my laptop in my dorm room. That person had a list of links, once of which was Dooce, and then I started reading her. Then SHE had a bunch of links that I started reading, and before I knew it I was following the lives of a bunch of people that I've never met. Dooce was certainly not the web phenomenon then that she is now and all I can think is that if only I'd started a blog then I too could be a famous blogger now.

Let's be honest though, everyone and their dog has a blog now. I'm not really sure that the world needs more Famous Bloggers or that it has any interest in them. And what on earth do I want to be a Famous Blogger for anyways? The fame? The free stuff that I might not want? The potentially nasty comments from trolls?

That said, it's those blogging dogs that make me think that if THEY can do it, then surely I, an intelligent, creative, and witty person can manage it. I love to write, I have interesting and hilarious things to say, and I think it would be nice to have a record some day of all the crazy things I think of. So for the next week Project Bananas is all about getting this blog started. I hereby pledge on my beloved iTouch that I will blog SOMETHING every day this week.