Well, it's day two of a new project and the "just started a new project" euphoria continues. It's at this moment that I'm always the most optimistic. I've made it to day two, I'm still feeling enthusiastic, and the possibilities seem endless. Of course, the past would dictate that the thin end of the wedge is inserted tomorrow and the whole thing rapidly falls apart. But that's not going to happen this time.
I was lying in bed last night, feeling pretty excited about this whole project. I was raised to believe that I could do anything I wanted. Really and truly. My parents genuinely believed (and still believe) that I am capable of anything as long as I try hard enough. This has always been the problem though. I am a chronic underachiever in my personal life (let's take work right out of the equation here, I love my job, I work hard, and I'm good at it). I have never put 100% effort into a personal project. And it shows. I'm pretty good at lots of things, but amazing at nothing.
I was a smidgen overscheduled as a teenager. I went to a competitive high school, played hockey/ringette/field hockey, took violin/piano/singing lessons, debated, participated in school plays and rock shows, participated in church services, volunteered, and babysat. I had a extremely full life, but I couldn't really put all my attention or effort into any one thing because I had so much else going on. I think maybe my mother regrets that, but I certainly don't. I got to do everything that I wanted to do and never felt like I missed out.
But now, I wonder if that maybe didn't set me up to succeed as an adult. I have trouble sticking to ANYTHING from diets, to cleaning rotas, to flossing every night. I really want to break the cycle though, so that's why Project Bananas is so important to me. I don't have anything to prove to anyone else, but I do want to prove to myself that I can do this. Fingers crossed.